I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about gender differences, and why it would be so nice to be a man.  I’m not about to change my gender identity, but you guys have some things pretty good.  Let’s look at a few examples.  

You earn higher wages.

When you pick which country you visit, safety is much less of a factor.

Catcalling is just not an issue for you.

When you have any heightened emotion, people don’t ask you if you’re PMSing.

And last but not least.  You can pee in a bottle on the chicken bus. Or anywhere really.

Seriously, gents.  I’m jealous.  Ya’ll have it good sometimes!! But this year, I gained some perspective on a hardship you face.  Rejection.  Typically in dating, men are expected to make the first move.  They have to stick their neck out and hope that we don’t ferociously chop it off.  Men have to pluck up the courage to ask a woman on a date.  Men have to try to find that perfect moment to sneak the first kiss in.

This year, I decided to give this traditional men’s role a try.  It was NYE, and I was tired of waiting for a guy to make his move.  Do you like me or not?  So I kissed him.  *Gasp* And then he pushed me off and made a joke.  *Double Gasp*   I walked into work and asked my friend, “Is this what guys go through all the time?”  I felt like I got a literal slap in the face.  My cheeks burned red, and I kept thinking, “Seriously, he didn’t even want to kiss me?  Pfft. Fine.” I was frustrated all night.  And to make it worse, I could only drink sparkling juice in the nurses station at midnight.  Life is cruel.

Attempt #2 at wearing the pants.  I had a crush on a guy (understatement), and I wanted to see if it could work.  I had to know.  So I kind of went to his town to pursue him.  I had a great time that week.  I did my own thing. He did his thing. And we hung out together when we could.  Everything was nice, but then I talked to him.  I had to know if there was any potential from his perspective.  And then I got the line, “I’m really working on myself right now”.  *Triple Gasp*  Dear God, I thought. Have I used that line on somebody before?  Or is it just from every rom com and drama that ever existed?  In truth, you can get hung up on the line, but the line really doesn’t matter. The answer is the same: “No. No, I don’t want you.”

How many times do guys go through this a year?  If a man asks somebody on a date once a week, that’s fifty two chances to get rejected a year!!!  I could barely handle two rejections in five months!  It really made me reflect on how I have turned men down in the past.  I could have been a bit gentler.  And I don’t need to take it as a personal insult that a guy wants to kiss me or take me on a date.  I may have been a bit harsh in retrospect.  For a water sign, I can get a bit fiery.

So today when my salsa instructor tried to kiss me, I decided to not be my normal fiery self.  I remember how it felt when I tried to kiss somebody.  Granted, today, I definitely said “Adios!”and ran home as fast as I could. (Probably not the mature adult response)  But I did talk to him later, and I was honest and straight forward.  That’s the best thing you can do.  You can’t change that you don’t want somebody, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that.  But it still stings for the person getting rejected.

So gentleman, I’m sorry.  You have a rough role in the dating game.  Thanks for taking the heat, and please keep making the first move.  Because I do not want to do that again.  I’d like to change a few things about gender equality, but let’s leave this role alone for now. I’m glad I’m a woman.