Love & Travel.  Travel & Love.

Love to travel.  Travel to Love.

But what is love?  And is love different when you’re a traveler?  

The first people that loved me was my family, and they loved me instantly without needing any time to know me.  But now, I’m older. My mom, dad, and brother still love me.  Which is awesome because I can think of a few reasons for them to not love me.  One of those reasons is because I’m never home.  Part of love is quality time, but I don’t grant my family that gift very often.  I intend to message and call them somewhat regularly, but in reality, my contact with them is often sporadic.

My guatemalteco family finds it strange that I (and other travelers) tolerate being away from their families for long periods of time.  In their home, three generations live together under the same roof.  The uncles, aunts and cousins almost all live on the same block.  This allows them to spend A LOT of quality time together.  Is their love stronger due to proximity?  If I don’t want to risk losing the love of my family, does that mean I need to go home and hang up my travel hat?

And what about romantic love.   My family loved me instantly, but is romantic love even possible within a few months?   Without the element of time, can you truly develop love?  My answer used to be ‘YES’.  I thought I had felt love for people without knowing them for very long. Once, I thought I fell in love with somebody after barely spending five days with him.  But I’ve changed my mind.  Love and time are inseparable.  Love needs time to grow.  This alteration in my definition of love has serious implications for me.  I love to travel.  I love to move.  If I continue to be a vagabond, my chances of being in a relationship that allows enough time to facilitate love is unlikely.  I guess you just can’t have it all.

But there’s a trade off here.  I think there is a different type of relationship you can find when you travel.  I first started discovering ‘travel friends’ when I began travel nursing.  Travel nurses typically tend to look out for each other.  You may barely know each other’s names, but you’ll already have made plans for your next day off.  And we may have just met each other, but if Thanksgiving is the next day, we’ll celebrate it together.  Traveling abroad has shown me that globetrotters are usually willing to help each other out.  People will offer me dinner in a hostel without even knowing my name.  People will invite me to join them on excursions after knowing me for only a few moments.  I’ve held a woman crying in an airport bathroom.  And several people have held me while I cried on this trip.  Why do we do this?  Because we know we don’t have time to get to know each other.  We don’t have time to develop love as friends or as a couple.  And we know that we can’t get back easily to the people that already love us.  So, we create a different kind of relationship.  Travel friends are offering compassion and comradery with no preconditions.

Travel has also allowed me to develop a deeper relationship with myself.  Today, I studied Spanish for four hours.  I enjoyed two hours of salsa and bachata lessons.  I did yoga in my bedroom.  I played ukulele, and I was able to embrace the fact that I totally suck at it right now. I’ve been working on my mind, body, spirit, and creativity on this journey. I’ve been loving myself.

And you may be thinking, “You don’t need to travel to do these things.”  But for me, traveling makes it easier to do these things due to lack of obligations.  I don’t have 5,000 obligations to friends, family, and work.  I have an obligation to myself. I’m obligated to spend time exploring what makes me happy and what helps me to grow.

Love and travel does go together.  I love travel.  I love my fellow travelers.  And I travel to better love myself.