I wrote the following biosketch for my application to be ordained as an inter-faith minister.  It’s a deeply personal story, but I decided to share this with you for two reasons.  First of all, if you are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, it helps to know that you are not alone.  The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is (800)273-8255.  Please consider reaching out to friends, family, a therapist, or a medical professional,  Maybe even consider trying Reiki.  The second reason I want to share this with you is because I want you to know why Reiki is so important to me.  I did have friends, family, and coworkers trying to help me.  But I felt like I was in a thick fog; their voices couldn’t reach me.  I hate to think about what today would be like if I hadn’t experienced Reiki.  I don’t want to spend another moment of my life in that much darkness. 

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This has been quite a year for me. I don’t know the right word for it, but ‘life-altering’ doesn’t even seem close to covering it. A series of events started on New Year’s Eve that served me by stripping me of several things that I held dear to me. I became physically ill on New Year’s Eve and it continued for a painful three weeks. When the physical pain subsided, the weight of having a chronic illness began to crush me. I reverted to an adolescent version of myself. I lashed out and yelled at those closest to me. I tried to manipulate people to care for me despite my illness. I began to become jealous of other women’s beauty, talents, and intelligence. I began having long dialogues of negative self-talk. I hated my mind, my body, and my soul. I wanted to be released from it. I welcomed death. I couldn’t eat. All food tasted vile to me. It tasted and felt like chalk in my mouth. I lost 20% of my body weight, and I was truly incapable of seeing the difference. I could only acknowledge the loss because my clothes were practically falling off.

I knew I couldn’t continue down this path much longer. But I was ashamed and embarrassed to be struggling that badly. I knew that my difficulties were so minor, how could I talk to somebody about my problems when I’m aware that there are such greater struggles than my own. A coworker approached me and said, “I can see that you are silently suffering. Sometimes when bad things happen it can be an opportunity to explore new paths in life”. She then talked to me about Reiki and gave me the card of a Reiki Master that works in my area. I started seeing Jenna for a series of four treatments. I wasn’t sure what to expect or how I felt about it. But after my first treatment, I not only felt like myself again, I felt like a better version. I felt calm, and I found clarity in a lot of areas of my life. Even more remarkable was the fact that the visuals and sensations I experienced matched exactly what healing Jenna told me was happening. The next five days were good for me, but the feeling didn’t last. My inner teen was coming out again. I couldn’t wait for my next treatment. I worked on the island of Lana’i, and I was trying to get home to Maui to receive another Reiki treatment and see my parents that had just flown in. But the weather was stormy so they cancelled the ferry service. I headed to the airport to try to fly out. I spent the rest of the day pacing and stressing out that I couldn’t get back to see my family or receive a much-needed Reiki treatment. I agreed to distant Reiki session, although I wasn’t too keen on it. I felt like I was wasting money on something I wasn’t really receiving. I was still pacing at the airport, and talking with other frustrated travelers when my anger and tension began to subside. I checked the time, and I realized that my distant Reiki session had started fifteen minutes earlier. I found a quiet corner of the airport to sit and enjoy the remainder of the session. Afterward, I felt at peace with the situation, and I decided to leave the airport with a friend to enjoy the rest of the day. I knew then that the power of Reiki was genuine and that it wasn’t limited by distance the way most other treatments would be.

Later, I returned to see Jenna for additional sessions, she suggested that I complete a First-Degree training to provide treatments for myself between my sessions with her. I soon signed up for the next class in June. Then, with a short break from my Reiki sessions with Jenna, my depression spiraled out of control while going through a painful breakup and moved into a friend’s spare room. I spent my day lying in bed trying to find a reason to get out of this life. I looked on the internet for the best way to kill myself. I must say, the information available online is quite complete. After each description on how to kill yourself, it explains what your life could be like if you’re unsuccessful. I decided not to try because the thought of surviving a suicide attempt and living with an anoxic brain injury seemed even worse. I pulled myself together enough to go see Jenna for more Reiki healing. I experienced a deep emotional healing that day. I felt out-of-body and wasn’t aware of where I was during the session. When I came out of it, Jenna described that as being in “Reiki space”. After that, I did a little bit better. I could get out of bed most days and spend some time with friends.

During the First-Degree Reiki training, I learned how to give Reiki to myself, use the spiritual precepts, and how to provide mini and full-length healing treatments to others. I received so much healing energy during training, I felt amazing. I felt lighthearted and clear headed. I felt truly happy for the first time this year. And, I looked forward to continuing that positivity in my life by giving myself treatments every morning and night.

Exactly twelve hours after I completed my training, I woke up to a phone call telling me that I had been fired from my job as a nurse. I jumped right out of bed from the surprise of it. But even more surprising was the fact that I wasn’t upset by it. I felt calm and clear headed. I accepted my employer’s decision with no harsh words or anger. It seemed very clear to me that Reiki was removing things from my life that were toxic.

I realize now that the universal energy wasn’t removing things from my life to hurt or punish me. It was creating space in my life for something better. The same day I lost my job, I gave my first paid Reiki treatment. I had never entertained the thought of using Reiki as a source of income. I really thought I just wanted to do self-treatments. But it felt so good to be able to provide a healing treatment that I believe in, and I want to continue to share that with others. I truly love my career as a nurse. I love helping people feel better, but sometimes, I feel a moral conflict. I don’t believe that western medicine is always the best first option. I also feel conflicted when participating in extreme life-saving measures that I feel are causing more suffering than healing.

With Reiki, I can provide quality healing care and treatment with no risk of side effects. I look forward to being ordained as an inter-faith non-denominational minister. Becoming ordained will allow me to provide Reiki treatments to patients in the hospital setting. It would be an honor to provide Reiki as an adjunct to western medicine.

I am so happy I embarked on this journey. I look forward to exploring how becoming a Reiki provider and a minister helps to foster my own personal and spiritual growth as well as my ability to serve others.