When my birthday snuck up on me, the only thing I had planned was mimosas with my mates. But from the moment I woke up, I realized I wanted to do a little something more for turning 30.  I really wanted to be on a beach in Bali, but its not easy to escape from the Red Centre. So I decided to embrace being in the outback by doing 30 Aussie things.I didn’t waste any time getting started. I threw on my Ugg boots (1) since I’m celebrating a winter birthday (2) for the first time. I made some toast and spread some butter and vegemite (3) on it. Then I went outside and lit up a rolly cigarette (4).

Once Sabrina, Dan and Sarah were ready, they piled into my car and we headed to the national park. Don’t worry, I’ve gotten pretty good at driving on the left side of the road (5). We decided to watch the sunrise at Kata Tjuta, since its peak season out here. We figured KT would be a little less crowded than Uluru. Plus I was secretly hoping to see some wild camels during the drive, but they did not feel like making an appearance for a birthday present.

When we arrived at Kata Tjuta, we claimed our space in the back corner of the viewing platform. You don’t get the best view of the sunrise from there, but you can see the rocks light up without the crowd all around you. We set up our breakfast bar on the bench, We had an eskie (6) full of sparkling wine and a variety of juices. We set out our muffins as well. We decided to be mildly responsible by bringing along some food to keep us moderately sober.  Sarah’s strawberry muffins and Sabrina’s cake were perfect with the mimosas.

I’ve only been in Yulara three months, but the sun lighting up Kata Tjuta (7) with the brilliants shades of red doesn’t seem like it could ever get old. I love to sit and enjoy the light shining on the rock long after sunrise is over. Per usual, the tourists filed back into their vans and tour buses, leaving me and my friends to enjoy the rest of the show. They truly do miss the best part of the sunrise, but the peace and quiet of the empty platform suited us just fine.

We sat around on the platform talking and laughing and having a great time, and then we realized that all four bottles of bubbles were empty. We piled back into the car and made it safely home. Then we all stumbled back to our beds. I have no shame admitting that I took a solid nap.

When Sabrina and I woke up, we brainstormed more Aussie things we could do. Since we’re both American, we came up with a lot of the classic  foods.  The most obvious one occurred to me- the Tim Tam Slammer (8). So first thing you need to do is make your coffee. Now growing up in the US, most people have a drip coffee maker. That’s definitely not a thing here. Most people here use instant coffee. I know, it’s shocking but that’s what I do here (sorry dad). So we had our instant coffee (9), then bit the corners off our Tim Tams, sucked the coffee up through it like a chocolate straw, and slammed the biscuits into our mouths. After enjoying that moment of pure bliss, we decided to head to the servo (10). If you want to get harassed out here, call it a gas station. That’s been a real hard term for me to leave behind. When we got to the servo we ordered three classic, unhealthy Aussie foods: chips & gravy (11), a meat pie (12), and a sausage roll (13). We went back to the house and had a massive feed. I think we both regretted our life choices, but hey, it was all for the completion of the list and celebrating my birthday!

Some friends came over a bit later with a few Coopers Pale Ales (14), and my birthday present. They got me a camel stuffed animal (15). I don’t remember ever seeing a stuffed camel growing up, but I see them all over the place out here!   Once we finished the beers at the house, we decided to head to the pub. There’s really only one pub out here, the Outback Pioneer. So I piled all my friends into my car again and went to the Outtie. (PS if you want to speak Australian, just abbreviate everything and you’ve got it). We ordered our drinks then headed to our favorite section to sit in. The boss met us there a little bit later and shouted us a few rounds (16). After a few too many drinks, we headed over to Geckos. We wanted to order some Aussie food, but the wait was 45 minutes, so we settled on Ayer’s Wok (see what they did there? *eye roll*) for some Asian take-away. We headed back to the house, squeezed together on the couches and watched the movie Australia (17). We wanted to see our favorite Aussie movie star- Ned Kelly the camel!

He makes a brief but spectacular appearance (I might be biased). During the movie, a few more friends showed up– with my third birthday cake! This one was a beautiful penis cake decorated with desert heath myrtle (18). Thanks Judi! It tasted as good as it looked. 😉 They sang happy birthday in the Aussie way. At the end of the regular song, they say “hip hip hooray” (19).

At this point, I was exhausted and in a food coma. Its rough work turning 30. I acknowledged the fact that I was not going to finish all 30 Aussie things in one day. But it’s my list, so I can do it however I want, and I went straight to bed with no qualms.

I woke up the next day, feeling as young as ever, and I had another classic Aussie breakfast: toast with baked beans (20). Then I headed into town to grab a drink at Kulata Academy Café (21). The café is a place where indigenous trainees can learn how to work in the hospitality industry. After that, I had to head home to adult. I threw a load of wash in, but then I headed out with Sabrina to the farm to do some camel training (22). She took out Teddy for some training as a lead camel, and I went along and rode Rusty to get him used to being ridden in a string.

After that we headed home and cooked up some lamb (23) for lunch.  I’m not really sure why we don’t eat much lamb in the US, but it is definitely a staple out here. Then me and the roomies sat down to watch an AFL game (24). I remembered my laundry eventually, and I hung it out to dry on a Hill’s Hoist (25). I really wanted to play goon-of-fortune for my birthday, but unfortunately you can’t buy boxed wine out here due to liquor laws.  That will have to wait until next year. Do yourself a favor and YouTube what that is. It is way too funny to try to describe.

My roommate Emily’s family was here to visit, so I joined them on a sand dune behind the camel farm to watch the sunset on Uluru and Kata Tjuta (26). Sometimes it’s nice to not fight the crowds in the park, and to just enjoy a different vantage point and a little bit of tranquility. After the sunset, I drove into town to go the IGA (our one and only grocery store), and I bought some kangaroo burgers to cook up at home (27). In Oz, I have eaten a lot of hamburgers and sausages, but almost never on a hamburger or hotdog bun. Generally, if I suggest that, people look at me like I’m crazy. Why wouldn’t you just use sliced bread? Fair enough. So I went full aussie, and had my burger on sliced bread (28). I settled in to watch an old Aussie movie, about an Italian immigrant, called They’re a Weird Mob (29). It’s on YouTube if you want to check it out.

And the last Aussie thing I did for my list is Fairy Bread (30). Jess suggested it to me and I had never heard of it, but it’s AMAZING. From what my friends say, it’s a very common dessert for kids birthday parties here. And since its super cheap and delicious– I highly recommend you give it a try with your kids (since you know, I’m 30, most of my friends have kids now!). Anyway, I hope I’ve built up some suspense.  Fairy bread is cheap white bread, spread with butter and then topped with rainbow sprinkles (which they call 100’s and 1000’s). IT IS AWESOME.

Fairy bread was the perfect thing to cap my list of 30 Aussie Things for my Birthday!! I really was bummed at first that I couldn’t leave for my birthday, but all of my friends here made it so memorable. I can’t thank all of you enough!